People are upset about this Potato Head thing – but when I call someone a shithead, I seldom take the time to attach a gender-specific honorific.

They say federal jobs are pretty cushy.

I think I'll apply for email carrier.

"I'm happy to take questions if that's what I'm supposed to do, Nance. Whatever you want me to do." – Joe Biden, 3/3/3021 at virtual presser.

I've said in the past that Nancy Pelosi doesn't need to run for president because she is already the most powerful woman in the country and coasts to 30% margins of victory every two years.

But now it seems she is actually running the presidency.

Without specific explanation, Dr. Seuss Enterprises announced it will stop publishing and licensing six Dr. Seuss titles for portrayals that are 'hurtful and wrong'.

At this writing, Dr. Seuss titles account for nine of the top ten best selling books at Amazon.

Well played, Dr. Seuss Enterprises.

(None of the top ten titles are on the verboten list).

HEADLINE: "CPAC Orlando: Trump hints at running again in 2024 as a Republican, but only 68% of attendees agree"

Not news, news-like product – in any other context, 68% favorability is a landslide.

Is not the real story the revelation that Trump remains the front-runner among conservatives? This can't bode well for the GOP. 

American positions in Iraq were attacked last week, so the U.S. attacked Syria this week.

Aren't you glad things are back to normal?

Some people have a hard time believing Joe Biden won 81,283,098 votes.

Joe failed to capture ~157,216,902 votes.

~78,866,604 people didn't vote for any of the clowns in the circus.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the asserted mastermind behind 9/11, has been detained in Gitmo for eighteen years.

The administration's rationale for offering the COVID-19 vaccine to Gitmo PoW's (ahead of most Americans) is to "expedite the legal process".

I dream of someday having a government that – if not fair and just – is at least competent enough to foist cogent lies upon the people.

If the government were truly interested in carbon-free transportation, it would release the findings from the investigation of the gravity wave powered craft at Area 51.

Bill Gates is in a five billion dollar bidding war for a private jet company that operates 1,600,000 flights per year.

Gates' book How to Avoid a Climate Disaster: The Solutions We Have and the Breakthroughs We Need will hit the shelves next month.

It's nice to know where the little people stand.

For days, news outlets have been reporting on the Coronavirus Relief bill, AKA Covid Stimulus, etc. Sometimes described as a 5,000 page or 6,000 page bill (it’s 5,593 pages), reports focus on $600 payments to individuals, but the bill also includes extended unemployment payments, another $284B of Paycheck Protection Payments, and $25B of rental assistance, among other things.

Except there is no such thing as a Coronavirus Relief bill. These payments are earmarks in the annual government funding bill called the Consolidated Appropriations Act (2021) which is why it’s 5,600 pages long.

And what happens when Congress decides it cannot agree on the Coronavirus stimulus? The government shuts down.

Stop voting. It doesn’t work.

What’s the difference between a Trump Detractor and a Trump Supporter?

Detractors are afraid Trump will use fascist tactics to take control of the country – Supporters are counting on it.

Now the fun part:

In the sentence above, replace 'Trump' with 'Obama' and replace 'fascist' with 'Marxist'.

The more things change …

Pfizer's SARS-CoV-2 vaccine received Emergency Use Authorization on December 11.

By December 17, Pfizer had shipped 2.9 million doses.

NATO published a report today that says "until 2030, Russia is likely to remain the main military threat to the North Atlantic Alliance".

Pay no-never-mind to the fact that without a belligerent Russia, there is no NATO.

Every year, the Christmas merchandising and music seem to arrive just a smidge earlier and every year the "It's too early for Christmas" kranks sound the klaxons.

However, I don't see the Christmas Kranks arriving with a library of beloved Thanksgiving classics.

Why is the twenty-billion-dollar U.S.S. Gerald Ford – the most expensive warship in the history of humanity – named after a president who did absolutely nothing, including not get elected to the presidency or the vice presidency?

The first smartphone, the IBM Simon, was introduced as a concept item at ComDex in 1992 before hitting the market in 1994. In addition to telephone and PDA features, it could receive faxes.

Why can't today's smartphones receive faxes? After fifty years, faxes are still more secure than email!

California is now 'mandating' mask usage outside.

Bureaucratic logic: Something is better than nothing even when something is worse than nothing.