While Ukrainians die in the streets, NPR is going to help us cope with the bad news.

This is precisely why Putin has gotten away with it.

No, Putin is not crazy or unstable. The establishment wants you to believe that, because then the Ukraine invasion becomes the unpredictable gesticulating of a crazy person and it is nobody’s fault.

The alternative is that this is the well-designed, long-planned act of a person who chose the precisely correct moment to conquer a developed country knowing that the rest of the world would stand around hurtling protestations and name-calling, completely incapable of mounting a meaningful military resistance.

This only ends when Putin does.

To save time, France has surrendered.

Russia's primary export is natural gas. The "scary" economic sanctions being levied against Russia don't include natural gas exports.

Is this because 2/3 of Europe's gas comes from Russia and Putin is pulling this in dead of winter?

Yes, Ukraine has natural resources - especially those coveted by electric vehicle manufacturers.

Does it really matter if we buy those resources from the corrupt Ukrainian government vs. the corrupt Russian government?

Bob Saget "died from an accidental blow to the head, having suffered an abrasion to his scalp, a fracture at the base of his skull, fractures around his eye sockets, and a bleed on his brain."

I wonder how many people fall accidentally and hit the back of their head so hard they fracture their eye sockets?

Do I have to show proof of vaccination to get my crack pipe?

After a century of theory and experiments, scientists created an atomic fusion reaction that lasted for five seconds.

At this rate, we’ll have sustainable atomic fusion energy five or ten years after the sun explodes.

According to the government, the military cornered a terrorist who then blew up himself and his family.

Translation: We bombed a random building in the desert and killed a bunch of strangers.

Justice Stephen Breyer announced his retirement so that Joe Biden can fill the seat before the Democrats get curb-stomped in the mid-term elections.

Then staffers spent three hours explaining to Joe that he cannot nominate Major, even if he is old enough in dog years.

There was no World Economic Forum (WEF) conference in Davos, Switzerland this year, where 600 point-one-percenters fly their private jets to an event where they vote on the sins of the peasantry while eating $40 hot dogs. Instead, there was The Davos Agenda, an online event that was opened by Xi Jinping.

Let that sink in. The "president" of the only functioning communist government telling a bunch of capitalists what a great job they’re doing. Something ain’t right.

A couple of weeks ago a guy came to the door and tried to sell to me a T-shirt, leather jacket, and membership to a motorcycle club.

I passed. I know better than to get involved in those Fonzi schemes.

Fun Fact: Hamsters cannot get drunk.

Less Fun Fact: They only drive Kia Souls.

Andrew Cuomo will not be charged subsequent to the investigation of 16,000 nursing home deaths in New York because ‘no laws were broken’.

You can make bad decisions that kill thousands of people and lie about it, just don't break any laws.

Choose Your Headline:

Elizabeth Holmes Convicted on Four of Twelve Counts

Elizabeth Holmes Guilty of 144 Million Dollar Fraud
________
Spoiler: Both are factually accurate

My new eyeglasses have anti-glare coating.

Now people don't know when I'm annoyed with them.

Joe Biden announced yesterday that he will improve the federal government by – wait for it – expanding the government.

Now why hasn't someone thought of that before?

Tobacco giant Philip Morris is in a bidding war to acquire a pharmaceutical company that makes treatments for respiratory diseases.

Tell me again how wonderful capitalism is.

(Arguments conflating free market economics and capitalism will not be entertained)