If there's something more annoying than people who don't know the difference between your and you're, it's screenwriters who don't know the difference between extortion and blackmail.

"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers"

How did the peppers get pickled before he picked them?

This is the type of communist propaganda that brings down societies.

The CDC issued guidance today recommending that fully vaccinated people continue wearing masks.

If this is truly based on scientific merit (and not a control measure as been alleged), it means that vaccinated people can still be contagious and there is no such thing as herd immunity.

But it's the government – they're used to having it both ways.

People are upset about this Potato Head thing – but when I call someone a shithead, I seldom take the time to attach a gender-specific honorific.

They say federal jobs are pretty cushy.

I think I'll apply for email carrier.

"I'm happy to take questions if that's what I'm supposed to do, Nance. Whatever you want me to do." – Joe Biden, 3/3/3021 at virtual presser.

I've said in the past that Nancy Pelosi doesn't need to run for president because she is already the most powerful woman in the country and coasts to 30% margins of victory every two years.

But now it seems she is actually running the presidency.