U.S. authorities have indicated that the son of Osama bin Laden has died, but have not given additional details.

Outlets are reporting the person's name as Hamza bin Laden, when in fact the person's name is Hamza, styled as Hamza bin Osama.

The concept of a surname does not apply.

A Louisiana woman arrested on suspicion of theft denied ownership of a gram of methamphetamine that was found in her person after a cavity search.

They say possession is nine-tenths of the law, so she may have some wriggle room there.

Empowerment Therapy
Day 1

Mantra of Impervious Defense

I am rubber, you are glue.
Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.

What do you get when you cross Baby Boomers with Millennials and add Columbia, Maryland?

Not Woodstock 50. The troubled "cross-generational" event was finally cancelled after organizers were informed that LSD is still illegal and Millennials think it is some kind of church.

In last night's Free Stuff Sweepstakes on CNN, prizes offered totalled more than 210 trillion dollars.

Bernie Sanders ran away from the field with his $35T spending over ten years, but was dogged by Andrew Yang's $30T of proposals. Karen Gillibrand placed third with her paltry $10 trillion.

Marianne "Don't call me Crystal Lady" Williamson finished in the bottom third with $500 billion. Obviously, Ms. Williamson needs to up her game if she wants to improve her visibility in the Free Stuff Sweepstakes. This is where she could play to her strengths by offering free soul cleansings or perhaps acquiesce and promise a free healing crystal in every lunch bag.

60% of Burning Man attendees are white and more than half have household incomes above $100,000.

The takeaway is that broke non-white people have no desire to drive to the middle of the high desert for a week to live like a broke non-white person.