If the glaciers don't melt, how will we find the alien space ships?

When my father taught me to siphon gasoline by mouth, he left the impression that it's a skill that would be used more often than it has.

Georgia Congressoid Rich McCormick thinks Russia is a communist country.

I'm convinced there is an upper IQ limit for politicians.

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house

not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse

because everyone knows mice prefer their drinks shaken, not stirred!

HEADLINE: CIA's secret office has conducted UFO retrieval missions on at least NINE crash sites around the world

Isn't it strange that aliens who can circumvent the laws of physics for FTL travel, communicate via undetectable frequencies, deploy propulsion systems that leave no signatures, and generally operate with zero residual presence, have such trouble with atmospheric flight?

Don't you hate it when you confuse baklava with balaclava and end up in the middle of a Minnesota winter with a pile of Greek pastry?