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Deductive Logic Primer


Major Premise: The average lifespan in the U.S. is 78 years.

Minor Premise: >60% of CoV fatalities were people aged more than 78 years.

Conclusion: Catching CoV increases your chances of living longer than average.

Researchers from sixty-one countries have contributed to multiple studies that all draw the same conclusions: Individuals who comply with governments' response to CoV are 'good people' possessing 'empathy' and individuals who disagree with dictates are 'anti-social' and exhibit traits of the Dark Triad.

If one participates in a million-person protest – such as the one in Berlin – then one is guilty of 'collective narcissism'.

Aren't you glad we killed religion and replaced it with science?

Three weeks ago, one million people marched in Berlin to protest the government's Draconian CoV response.

Berlin has since banned protests because they would violate social distancing mandated by the CoV edicts.

How convenient.

Here's a tip: No matter how much you run away from a virus, it doesn't go away (In fact, the opposite is true).

Much ado is being made of Nancy Pelosi’s (astronomically remote) potential to ascend to the presidency given Joe’s declining mental status and assuming he unseats Donald in November.

The only way for Nancy to get behind the Resolute Desk is for Joe to abdicate and for Kamala to become incapacitated during the twenty minutes between her swearing-in and the swearing-in of her appointed vice president, as provided by the 25th Amendment.

But more pointedly, why would Nancy want to be president? She controls one half of Congress, the federal budget, is arguably the most influential woman in the country, and needs to capture only a simple majority of 764,000 people (of which she routinely wins 80%) and not 270 electoral votes from fifty states.

If Nancy wanted to be president, she would be. Until then, she will be Speaker of the House for as long as she wants.

According to a DoA report (in more ways than one), North Korea has 60 nuclear weapons and a 5,000 ton stockpile of chemical weapons.

Given the DoD's history of erroneous estimations, from Iraq's (non-existent) 100,000 tanks and million-man army in 1990 to their (non-existent) WMD program of 2002, it's probably safe to say that North Korea's arsenal consists of chlorine bleach and a number of VHS recordings of Dubya saying "nucular".

Who needs religion when you have pharmacology?

“Moral enhancement is the use of substances to make you more moral”

“… make moral enhancement compulsory or administer it secretly, perhaps via the water supply.”

Satire or commentary? It's getting difficult to discern the difference.

A study conducted by the Federal Reserve Board concludes that “disturbing trends” in the U.S. economy, including income inequality and financial instability, are the results of monopoly power: fewer companies controlling ever larger market shares.

A predictable but vexingly ironic conclusion from the largest monopoly in the history of civilization.